Holidays of Sadness by Brigitte Synesael

When you have lost someone very dear to you, the most difficult obstacle to cross is getting through the holidays. Surviving the days where everyone around you is celebrating and spreading good cheer, while your mind is filled with memories and your heart is heavy with loneliness. It’s difficult just making it through what used to be the happiest days that were once shared with a soul mate, and today carries only emptiness. The greatest challenge is to remain in the company of others who love you, when you really want to be alone with your sadness.

It makes no difference whether the loss took place last week, several months ago, or even last year. The holidays always send those deep emotions flooding right to the surface.

Just as how you deal with grief is personal and individual, so is the way you handle the holidays. Remember to be true to yourself, and don’t take on too much responsibility. Let people know that your plans may be subject to change, and you can’t make long term commitments just yet. Be honest with yourself and with your friends and family about how you’re feeling.

Some people find it best to start new traditions, because the past ones hold memories too difficult to deal with. Talk with your family about setting expectations. Plan together any modifications you will all make to the “normal” holiday festivities. You may want to have a church service dedicated to the memory of your loved one. Or make an annual donation in his/her name. Perhaps join the Hospice Tree Lighting ceremony. Bring joy to another child by purchasing a special toy for the Angel Tree in memory of your child.

It’s a great idea, for both you and your family, for you to write a letter to them asking for their understanding. There is a terrific example of this at the following Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Woods/4671/holidays.html. I encourage you to take a look at it.

Be honest about how you’re feeling, but when ever possible, try to include a positive twist into your thoughts. Instead of :

“I miss my beloved so much, there is no Christmas without him/her.”

try

“I do miss my beloved. Christmas will be different this year, but I will try to enjoy it.”

Instead of:

“I HATE this time of year. I can’t wait until it’s over.”

try

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BIO:

Brigitte Synesael is recognized as an authority on Alternative Medicine Information.
A published author, her latest release "You've Got Nothing To Lose But POUNDS!" was inspired by outrage at society taking advantage of a frustrated, overweight population. This well researched ebook gives more than 10 reasons that could be responsible for your weight problem besides overeating. This book is available at http://www.diets-dont-work.com

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