My Teenaged Parents by Phyllis Staff

PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.

ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?"

PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today."

ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?"

PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!"

I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be.

Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over.

I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits:

·Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great.

·Even better -- stay and serve it.

·Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to.

·Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while.

·Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful.

·Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself.

·Lobby your Senators and Representatives for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation.

Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants!

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BIO:

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. - Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer's disease. Visit the author's web site at http://www.thebestisyet.net.

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