Nosebags in the corner and tears in our eyes by Holmes Charnley

“What have you given me!” she recoiled. I sat there in the passenger seat, suddenly feeling ill at ease as sweetheart swerved to avoid the taste in her mouth. How quickly my attempt at romance had resulted in embarrassment. It was all quite scary really. All I’d given her was an Opal Fruit. One of the purple ones. I chewed smugly on my strawberry one, much milder, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t encounter citric anguish.

To redress the balance I tried one of the purple ones next. Heck! She had a point. Made to make our eyes water, obviously. I don’t remember sweets being this intense.

I haven’t really thought about sweets since my childhood. I don’t have a sweet tooth, so why should I? It’s only since I’ve had step-kids, for about a year now, that things such as Opal Fruits now find themselves secreted in the glove box.

Starburst, as we all know were called Opal Fruits. I wasn’t really allowed sweets as a kid … only the other day I was going on about how I didn’t have Frosties for breakfast but I vividly remember growing up eating Country Store in the mornings. Anyone remember Country Store? As insipid to a child as Alpen but without any of the forgiving flavours. At least Alpen offered hope. Back then, a raisin was hallowed.

Anyhow, I digress; Opal Fruits. The first time I had an Opal Fruit was at some friend’s birthday party. I was around six at the time and these sweets were being handed out on a plate and because they were new to me, I didn’t realise the wrapper was still on. Funny sweet, I thought … intricate design yet curiously papery in texture. Oh, happy, embarrassing days.

Apart from that instance with the Opal Fruit, and the staple diet of Country Store, an annual visit to the local Wimpy was akin to a religious experience.

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BIO:

Freelance Journalist: a young gentleman specialising in bewildered think-pieces, autobiographical in nature.

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