Surfing Your Adrenalin Wave: How to Dissolve--Not Disguise--Anger by Maya Talisman Frost

Feel that rising tide of anger? Surf's up! Start

paddling.

Whenever we feel angry or frustrated, we get a blast

of adrenalin coursing through our bloodstream. In the

fight or flight response to stress, our bodies rely on our

appendages. We need to hit, kick, jump or run away,

and our bodies help out by sending extra blood to our

limbs.

If we were living in the wild and had to actually fight

off a predator or run away to escape, this would make

perfect sense. But in a typical day, we just don't need

those survival mechanisms like we used to. In fact, we

do our best to thwart our body's response to stress by

suppressing our physical reactions.

Oh, sure, we still use our extremities to express our

anger. We raise our fists, pound on the desk, slam

doors or cupboards, kick the garbage can, or stomp our

feet. Still, since we're trying to be civilized and all, we

use words more than body parts to react to whatever

upsets us. This is good in that we don't want to go

around hitting people. Slugging your boss may be

biological, but it won't get you too far in your corporate

climb.

So, instead of the fight or flight response our

predecessors relied upon, we've developed more of

what I call an "explode or seethe" response. Some of

us react right away when we're upset. We clench our

fists, do some wild gesticulating, raise our voices, or

slam the phone down. Others tend to seethe. We

suck in our breath, count to ten, hold it, and keep our

frustration covered by a tight smile or maybe a little

gasp of exasperation, but that's about it.

There's also the classic combo of the

seether/exploder. You know the type: they just keep

their heads down, don't say a word, and then out of

the blue they go into a tirade that rattles the roof.

It's interesting that we consider a seether as more

evolved than an exploder. We value those who are

able to keep their emotions in check. In our culture,

the seethers are the "nice" people who surprise us by

keeling over from a heart attack or stroke.

We've been programmed to sit and seethe. It's as

though we're stepping on the gas (adrenalin) and

slamming on the brakes (inactivity) at the same time.

Try doing that in your car, and you'll burn up your

engine. That's what we're doing to our bodies.

What do we do after a hard day? We sit and watch

television. We play video games. We go to a movie.

We collapse on the sofa and listen to music. We go

out to eat and drink.

We've eliminated a lot of the activity of daily life. We

don't scrub floors, churn butter, wash clothes by hand,

hoe the garden, walk everywhere, or otherwise

eliminate our stress through regular movement. We sit

in our cars, sit at our desks, and sit in front of the

television. It's no wonder we're obese and suffering

from the effects of stress!

The sit-and-seethe starts early. Consider a two-year-

old having a tantrum. Picture a little body flailing

about, all arms and legs. That's adrenalin in all its

glory! No suppression of instincts, just a pure,

unadulterated expression of physiology at work.

We can't have kids growing up and throwing tantrums.

It's just not socially acceptable. So, we give the two-

year-old a "time out" to cool off. This is like asking a

charging bull to sit and sip a bit of tea in that proverbial

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BIO:

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse as well as a former personal fitness trainer. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.

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