The Miraculous Tape Worm Diet Pill by Brian B. Carter, MS, LAc

Finally, the government-appointed Canadian National Committee for the Sane Control of Weight issued its monstruously authoritative 500-page report, and overnight it became a Canadian bestseller.

Readers in America still haven't heard of it. It's Canadian! Who cares?? One American publisher firm attempted to take on the U.S. distribution of the report, but ran into translation difficulties. The movie rights, however, are still available.

Among the Committee's findings are:

* No diet works for everyone

* Most obese people are lazy, but so are many skinny people

* Many obese people eat lots of sugar and diet sodas, but so do skinny Hollywood fashion models

* Professional athletes usually are not obese

* Anorexics don't gain weight

In short, the report was stunning in its inconclusiveness. The only points of light were some promising newer diets that had not yet been tried by large groups of people, or by large groups of large people, which included:

* The Tape Worm Diet Pill

* The Miraculous All Chocolate Diet

* The Ephedra Weight Loss Pizza

Experts, in the report, expressed concerns about each of these diets. Yet, they concluded, "we must try anything and everything, leaving no stone unturned, until everyone in the world can look like Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt."

Ok, ok, let's get serious.

I really am working on an ephedra weight loss pizza.

Stay tuned.

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BIO:

Acupuncturist, herbalist, and medical professor Brian B. Carter founded the alternative health megasite The Pulse of Oriental Medicine (http://www.PulseMed.org/). He is the author of the book "Powerful Body, Peaceful Mind: How to Heal Yourself with Foods, Herbs, and Acupressure" (November, 2004). Brian speaks on radio across the country, and has been quoted and interviewed by Real Simple, Glamour, and ESPN magazines.

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