Dumb Lamp. by Aleksandr Kavokin MD/PhD

Ha...

Here is a funny story an ENT resident told me sometime ago.

It happened in the1st City Hospital in Moscow, Russia. It is actually a very good hospital in

terms of the staff experience. Though the buildings are 100 years old.

Doesn't matter.

So, the resident is on-call. It's midnight. Ambulance rolls in.

A man: U-U-U, M-M-M.

Something metal is sticking out of his mouth.

OK. It turns the guy was at home. Probably drinking.

Those stories about Russians and vodka are partially true.

Partially.

For example, I don't drink at all, even beer. Just don't drink.

Though, Russians are different. We all are.

I knew some guys who drunk 3 bottles of vodka a day for week straight. Those stories about

American colleges, where a student brags that seven people drunk a box of beer and vomited half

night, are nothing.

Kids.

Russia is the Land of Extreme.

Russians drink in company usually. It is considered not healthy to drink alone. Should be three.

Americans have their parties. Russians have their parties.

It's cold in Russia, you know. People are genetically healthier. So they can trash their bodies. To

equalize.

Then they talk about soul, self-respect, and world-wide problems. About Africa, for example. Or

about importance of Daosizm for international culture. The place of a human in Universe is also

a favorite topic. Long night talk.

Again, not everybody drinks vodka in Russia.

I don't. Never did. My father doesn't. My grandfathers and relatives don't'.

I heard Putin also doesn't drink much. Some wine during American visits. He prefers judo.

That man in the hospital maybe was sober.

Anyway. In a company he bet he can put a light bulb into his mouth.

This is why I say: Maybe.

So, the bulb gets in. It's it.

Stuck.

It turns: it is easy to put a bulb into mouth, but it is difficult to get it out.

The muscles locked in. Trismus. (Trismus is condition when your masseter muscle spasms. It

happens in people with tetanus. Masseter muscle is the muscle that clench your jaws).

I actually do not know how to explain it exactly.

It seems there are some anatomical and physiological reasons.

The muscles that open your mouth are relatively weak. In contrast the masseter is very strong

(Of course. You needed to crunch nuts and bones in the ancient past). So, the opening muscles

Go to Page 2

BIO:

Aleksandr Kavokin MD/PhD, Phila
http://www.kavokin.com
Aleksandr Kavokin, MD1994 Russia,PhD1997 Russia - Immunology and Allergy, postdoc at Cancer Center at Med U of South Carolina, postdoc at Yale - Cardiology, Molecular Medicine. http://www.kavokin.com http://www.kavokin.uni.cc http://www.geocities.com/aging_rejuvenation/ http://www.appendicitis.uni.cc/ http://www.geocities.com/appendicitis_disease/

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