"Lean on Me"Cancer through a Carer's Eyes by Lorraine Kember

We were still reeling from the shock when, without preamble, the young doctor gave his prognosis. His exact words were, “Three to nine months, I reckon”. That he could say this so unfeelingly amazed me. His total lack of compassion did not encourage even the small comfort of tears. I felt as if Brian and I had been shot and from that moment on we were waiting to drop.

Undoubtedly, were mortally wounded. We suffered shock, disbelief, anger, helplessness and utter despair; in fact all the symptoms of grief one feels when a loved one has actually died. Once again we found ourselves with no control over our lives. This time however, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Our journey through terminal illness had begun.

Throughout the course of our married life my deep love for Brian and my determination to resolve difficulties had seen us through many trials. I found it hard to believe that nothing could be done to save his life and begun surfing the Internet for information regarding mesothelioma, all the time praying for a miracle, hoping against hope to find a doctor who had successfully operated on or cured someone of it.

It was a sad realization to discover that for Brian there were no miracles; however, I learned a lot and it helped me to accept that he was dying. With my acceptance came a fierce determination to ease his burden. I continued to seek information regarding mesothelioma and the pain and symptoms Brian would experience, due to the progression of his disease. In this way, I came to understand the importance of pain management and symptom control and realized that although I could not stop Brian from dying – I could help him to live. My acquired knowledge regarding pain and symptom management enabled me to communicate with Brian and to understand the type of pain he was experiencing and the intensity of that pain. I was then able to work hand in hand with his doctors, to bring his pain and symptoms under control. As my efforts resulted in his improved quality of life, I lost my sense of helplessness and gained strength.

Together, we achieved for Brian, a quality of life few thought possible, considering the nature of his disease. Testament to this, Brian survived for 2 years despite his prognosis of 3 to 9 months. Remained active and alert, drove his car for eighteen months after diagnosis and was not bed bound until three short days prior to his death.

Brian passed away on the 24th December 2001, he was 54 years old. I have written a book called “Lean on Me” Cancer through a Carer’s Eyes, in the hope of helping others. My book includes; insight and discussion on: Pain Management, Symptom Control, Chemotherapy, Palliative Care, Quality of Life and the benefit of dying at home. Featured also are excerpts and poems from my personal diary which portray the roller coaster of my emotions as I cared for my terminally ill husband.

For further information, recommendations, reviews, book excerpts and ordering facility please visit my website.

www.cancerthroughacarerseyes.jkwh.com

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BIO:

Self published Author. Living in Perth Western Australia.

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