Unrealistic expectations can cause failure by Caryl Ehrlich

“Yeah, but,” she continued, “I was so good all week and the scale didn’t move.”

“You lost one pound this week,” I reminded her, “and you didn’t gain back the previous seven.”

“Yeah but . . .” she repeated. “I lost that pound at the beginning of the week and didn’t lose anything the rest of the week.” She was unable to acknowledge anything positive. So great were her unrealistic expectations, it was impossible for her to feel joy or satisfaction in what she had accomplished.

By ignoring these fragile buds, by not watering, nurturing, and turning them to sunlight, they turn to dust. You’re used to seeking out the imperfect and because you’re not yet in the habit of recognizing the fruits of your labor, they dwindle on the vine. What remains are the weeds of destructive, negative, unrealistic thinking. These thoughts can and do take over your mind and your heart. Unrealistic expectations make you believe you’ll never succeed, every effort is for naught, you are forever destined to fail.

If you give too much credence to your real or imagined failures and not enough to your attempts, your interim successes, and your accomplishments, you will become the failure you think you are.

Were your parents critical and judgmental? Are you too hard on yourself? You may have internalized their voice.

Create your own positive voice. Think of the reasons you want to reach your weight loss goal (or any goal), not the reasons you don’t want to remain at your present weight.

Tell friends how good you feel, rather than reliving your less-than perfect efforts. Give importance to the good stuff. Let everything else go.

Try to monitor your negative, unrealistic thinking. See how many times you give yourself credit for doing something positive – I only ate when I was hungry the entire week” – only to take it away by adding, “. . . except for Thursday night when I worked late and had three slices of pizza.” It is not a good habit of thought to give one evening of pizza the same weight as six days of staying on your program.

Thinking realistically and positively may be tricky at the beginning because you’ve been thinking unrealistically and negatively for a long time. It takes practice and perseverance to change your attitude, but you will succeed. Perhaps not immediately. Perhaps one baby-step at a time. Perhaps 10,000 attempts later. But, as Georgia O’Keefe said, “You musn’t even think you won’t succeed.”

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BIO:

This article is an excerpt from the book Conquer Your Food Addiction authored by Caryl Ehrlich. Visit her at http://www.ConquerFood.com to know more about weight loss and keep it off without diet, deprivation, props, or pills. Contact her at Caryl@ConquerFood.com or call 212-986-7155.

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