Body Image by Caryl Ehrlich

What do you look like? How big (or small) are you? How tall (or short)? How much do you weigh?

When I ask participants how much they weighed when they were teenagers, I hear this lament: They thought they were very heavy, but when they look at those old photos now, they realize they weighed a weight they’d be thrilled to weigh today.

To feel comfortable feeding the smaller person you’ve become, be honest about your weight, silhouette, image, and self. You might be having a hard time giving up the big person image with which you are so comfortable. It is, after all, familiar, possibly since childhood. Unhappiness about weight is a public manifestation about unhappiness about self. Real or imagined. Recent or ancient.

How you looked as a child is how you might now see yourself. If you were a thin child, you might still see yourself as thin, even though you’ve gained weight. And if you were a heavy child, you might find it hard to believe you’re thinner, even though you’ve lost weight. Getting comfortable with the new smaller you is a matter of taking a few steps to re-enforce a body image more closely related to the new reality.

Buy a full-length mirror, if you don’t already have one.

1. Undress and look in it daily.

2. Repeat step one.

Just like keeping a food diary or drinking 10 glasses of water or weighing twice daily, looking in your full-length mirror must be part of the structure of your program. A mirror jolts you out of your weight-loss complacency.

Another assignment of awareness is to get your picture taken. Take out your camera, get a roll of film and have a friend snap shots of you sitting, standing, front view, side view, back view, standing straight, and bending over. Smile, frown, pose, and change outfits. Wear slacks, suits, skirts, dresses, cover-ups, and fitted clothing. Wear nothing. A photograph is the moment in time when you know your weight problems and/or successes are no longer a secret. Others know you’ve gained (or lost) weight.

* * * * *

When I was 50 pounds heavier, I dressed differently. I tended to buy shapeless over-blouses, A-line dresses and skirts, and generally baggy-type clothing. I thought of myself as young and thin so I was really startled to see a photograph of me looking old and fat. One winter day, while waiting for a bus and even more padded than usual with extra sweaters and a quilted jacket, someone asked me how many months pregnant I was. I was not.

When I lost the weight, however, I again saw myself in a photograph with a friend I’d always considered half my size. I’d thought of myself as much bigger than my friend, even though the photograph showed clearly I was actually much smaller.

The late comedian, Selma Diamond, told a wonderful story about shopping in a Lincoln Road clothing shop in Miami Beach, Florida. “As I tried on a dress the saleswoman oohed and aahed while she lingered in the doorway of the dressing room,” Diamond recounted. The saleswoman said “That dress was made for you.” “Yes,” Diamond deadpanned, “But you made it too small.”

Weigh, measure, and go shopping. Try on all kinds of clothing in a smaller size to corroborate what the scale says. You might feel heavy one day because of water retention possibly from overly salty food, but if the scale is down or you slide into a smaller sized skirt, shirt, slacks, panties, belt, bra, or ring, it’s because you’re smaller.

Experiment with colors that are brighter, clothing in a different style from those worn by the heavier you. A lot of people who have lost weight are thrilled to see themselves wearing a belt for the first time in years, buckling a belt a notch tighter, or wearing tuck-ins rather than over blouses. Get your hair styled, shave off your moustache. Dress the smaller person you’ve become.

Kirsten lost a fair amount of weight and followed an assignment to buy one new article of clothing in a smaller size. She paraded around my office pretending to model her new dress. I applauded; she did look terrific. “It’s a size 8,” she exclaimed incredulously. I beamed for her. She deserved it. And then her smile faded, as if she couldn’t believe she was wearing a size 8. “Of course, it’s not really a size 8,” she said. “It’s cut very big.” Yet, all the evidence pointed to the fact that when she was 20 pounds heavier, she could not have fit into that size 8 dress even if it was cut big.

You weigh more than you want to weigh all over, and that is how you will lose it. It will happen gradually and subtly and won’t always be noticeable, so don’t expect extreme, daily, dramatic changes.

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BIO:

Caryl Ehrlich, the author, also teaches The Caryl Ehrlich Program, a one-on-one behavioral approach to weight loss in New York City. Visit her at http://www.ConquerFood.com to know more about weight loss and keep it off without diet, deprivation, props, or pills. Caryl welcomes questions or comments about this article and the behavioral methods she incorporates into her weight loss program. Contact her at Caryl@ConquerFood.com

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