Mistaking Hunger by Caryl Ehrlich

You are not hungry most of the time. You are not always hungry when something smells good, looks good, or tastes good, whether or not you think you are. All food is prepared to tempt your taste buds, even though you’re not hungry.

You are also not hungry because there is stress, a deadline, pressure, a personal or business problem, anxiety, tension, it’s morning afternoon evening when alone with friends weekdays weekends day time night time money problems it rained it didn’t came with the dinner it was there . . . You are not hungry 24 hours a day, though you might think you are.

There are many daily food encounters: friends offering food, a maitre d’ describing dessert, the smell of popcorn in a movie theater, to name but a few. Acknowledging the visual and emotional blitz helps interrupt the knee-jerk reaction that causes you to eat even though you’re not hungry. Just knowing you are not hungry most of the time is a helpful piece of information.

You may even have pinpointed the reasons you’re thinking of food, reasons that seem to justify your eating when you’re not hungry. I’ve heard excuses as varied as “I got so angry because I couldn’t get a cab” to “I got caught in a downpour without an umbrella.” Many of these reasons might seem a valid enough reason to make you eat. They are not.

Certainly anger might tempt you to use food as a drug to keep the feelings down. If you eat when you’re angry, does the anger go away? Or perhaps frustration weakens your resolve. At which point is your threshold for discomfort seriously challenged? Bored? At exactly which point does a yawn become a yen? Tired? When does food become a replacement for sleep?

Does the emotional pain diminish when you eat? Is the celebration any better because you come home stuffed, bloated, and full of gas, uncomfortable and with lowered self-esteem? Is it worth it?

Consider, if you will, that your past behavior has not worked. A clear vision of what you’re trying to accomplish will. Most of all, you need a mind open to the possibility of change.

One man I almost taught was so afraid to change that he was locked into where he hung his coat, where I sat, and where he sat. He was terrified I was going to pull off his covers and yank away his security blanket of whatever food he was holding onto – whichever food he thought made him comfortable. He was so uncomfortable with even the thought of change, he would not tell me how much he weighed, or what he wanted to weigh.

Of course it’s possible that some discomfort might occur while you’re changing. The very act of weighing less than you did before is a change. And there is no change without change. But there are ways to lessen the discomfort of the journey from where you are to where you want to be; to offer options, suggestions, tactics, tips, tried and true assignments that work more and more as they are practiced. After all, you learned to use food to calm yourself down. You can learn a new method, a new automatic response.

Do you eat out of habit, not hunger? Identifying habits requires guidance, introspection, and patience, but most of all honesty. Once you acknowledge, “Yes, I do that,” you can decide you don’t want to do that anymore and begin to do something else, instead.

It is unrealistic and self-defeating to expect to go from habitual, compulsive, or addictive eating behavior to a calm, rational, in-control eating person by reading an article, even this article. You can, however, alter automatic, learned responses by creating new and effective alternative behaviors that will result in permanent change. The new behavioral choices add up to a permanent weight loss, incrementally, not rattattattat. It’s worth repeating: Your original patterns evolved over a lifetime. Now you can consciously plan the person you want to be.

Food does not contain a narcotic. Food only has the power you gave it by doing the same thing with it each time you encountered it. Food has the power you vested in it as part of a ritual distraction with your mind, many times since childhood, when you might have learned how to cope with stressful situations by using food inappropriately. It might have worked then, but it’s not working now. Now you need to find a new way that will work now.

I’ll show you what to do if you are not hungry but are tempted. There are many things you can do when food is offered, baked, cooked, prepared, and present just for you. Learn how to handle the compelling urges at the office, in a restaurant, or at home. Learn that an umbrella-topped pushcart, wafting a familiar aroma, doesn’t always mean you have to eat a hot dog.

Hunger demands to be fed. An urge passes. Know the difference? The next time you’re at home and thinking of food, and you just ate a little while before, set a kitchen timer for 20 minutes and distract yourself with some activity. Sometimes I set the timer, get busy with some other project, and when the bell goes off, I not only forget I set the bell, I’m not even sure why I set it in the first place.

One woman recalled a walk she took one summer day. She spied a man eating an ice cream cone, (a visual stimulus). She used the mental repatterning techniques she’d created to distract herself. She’d practiced and repeated the words, “Alert. Alert. Cross the street,” which she did while laughing. She reassured herself that everything was going to be okay, and she prompted herself to calm her breathing.“Two minutes later, I’d found the most adorable sequined hat in a store window,” she recounted. The moment clearly had passed.

The techniques were there in her memory bank because she had written the specifics of her plan, reviewed it daily to remind herself of the details, envisioned it in her mind, so that when the ice cream cone appeared, her new automatic response to say, “Alert. Alert. Cross the street, take a deep breath, and keep walking,” kicked in. It is a process everyone can learn. It begins in your mind.

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BIO:

Caryl Ehrlich, the author, also teaches The Caryl Ehrlich Program, a one-on-one behavioral approach to weight loss in New York City. Visit her at http://www.ConquerFood.com to know more about weight loss and keep it off without diet, deprivation, props, or pills. Caryl welcomes questions or comments about this article and the behavioral methods she incorporates into her weight loss program. Contact her at Caryl@ConquerFood.com

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